The holidays are upon us and we are all subject to various moods. It becomes a problem when we are not able to function well at work and when we are so down that those who love us and that we love are affected by how we feel. We can never live in a vacuum; we all affect each other and they affect us. Here are some insights and thoughts that I hope will be helpful during this season that can be a dichotomy between joy as well as sorrow.
1. Recognize our own Self-esteem. We have to hold our own to deal with relatives friends, and even when no one is seemingly around. This is a constant art and practice; it never ends, as there is no end to Self---
2. We can rise above Self-absorption if we elect to do some service work: Helping others and remembering our blessings helps us to step out of the box to realize how much all of us really do have. I have found that simply making a list of different blessings we do have can set the whole day straight. When we find ourselves alone we can make a choice to connect with others to help them and in doing so we can feel connected. Remember, often what gets people down is the concepts, beliefs, conditioning, and other constructs that keep us in the mode of "how things should be" rather than how they are for us. In acceptance we can have a window of peace and serenity if we expand what the holidays can be and mean to us.
3. We are not going to "fix" our relatives and friends in this short span of time and vice versa. (We never can anyway; that is illusion)---Don't even try.... Our relationships did not form overnight and they are not going to "change" in a few weeks per se. However we can make breakthroughs when there is mutual cooperation and understanding. However we have to consciously practice releasing expectation. We can only deal with our own inner state and the chips will fall where they may with others. That is not to say that we do not empathize with others, but we have to be very intuitive and close to our heart to trust that we will know what to do in any given situation presented to us: positive or negative.
4. Remember the positive and try to release or put aside that which is negative. Often the holidays are not necessarily the time to deal with old hurts, resentments, and issues often buried inside others and ourselves; however we can be aware of them inside of ourselves and acknowledge them to ourselves. This avoids repressing how we feel.
5. We also have the power to remove ourselves from the friction that others are trying to generate with us. Sometimes this means taking brief walks, a drive around the block, or getting away to the mall--or even some quiet spiritual practice or creative pursuit of any kind--anything to keep us from reacting. We can be assertive and simply say "I am here to draw the positive this week and/or weekend between us and what we have done together in the past and present that makes us both feel connected.---I am not open to discuss negativity or our differences at least at this time unless it is healthy and constructive."
6. Don't over budget on anything. Our emotions are at play during the holidays--we have to balance being realistic with what we can truly afford. We have to be creative and frugal at times or face more blues and mood changes as we overdo what our original intent was. In the name of the holidays, if we realize that every day can be special, the illusion and compulsion of having to "always do something" during the holidays--can be dispelled sometimes.---what the business world would like us to believe.
7. When situations and issues are just too toxic, sometimes it is best to love at a distance. We have to first protect and take care of ourselves--and then see if our friends and relatives one day meet us half-way.
8. When everyone is busy during the holidays and we are not connecting to some people in the way we want, we can practice not taking things too personally. Often people have many tasks, events and obligations and when they are not seemingly giving us what we need--then we have the choice to realize that it is not necessarily that people are ignoring or rejecting us-- but rather they are simply trying to connect with many during this time as we are trying to as well.
In the next segment--some simple remedies and practices to help us deal with our mood during the holidays.
Dr. Rama
in Dallas Texas
http://www.drrama.com/
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